This time of year, nostalgic messages emphasizing the importance of being together with family and friends, sharing gifts, and spreading the “holiday spirit” are everywhere. While many of us are looking forward to family traditions and spending time with loved ones, others are dreading the upcoming holidays. A recent poll found that 1 in 5 people find their mental health is negatively impacted by the holidays (1). Factors such as financial stress, grief, family dysfunction, and past traumatic experiences can all worsen mental health during this season.
6y7trfThere is a particular kind of loneliness that comes with feeling unhappy during a time when everyone else seems to be sharing joy and festivities. If that sounds like your experience, this blog is for you.
Grief
When you have lost a loved one, the holidays can make their absence feel much more pronounced. This season may mark another year without your loved one, or maybe reminds you that it feels like just yesterday they were here. Family traditions may have changed or stopped completely. Beyond the loss itself, you may also be grieving the future you imagined with that person. It is normal to even feel like celebrating without them is somehow wrong.
Family Difficulties
This time of year carries a lot of pressure to attend family gatherings despite unresolved conflict or hurtful dynamics. You may already be anticipating certain conversations that you wish you could avoid. It is also common to slip into a version of ourselves around family that we don’t like. Others may deeply miss their family and wish they could be together, but attempts to reconcile haven’t been successful or safe.
Painful memories
If you’ve experienced abuse or trauma, the holidays can also be triggering. Familiar locations, music, smells, and people may trigger painful memories. For those in the LGBTQ+ community or who otherwise are not accepted by their family, even happy memories of holidays past can bring grief and sadness.
If you’re anticipating the “holiday blues,” here are a few practical strategies for navigating this time:
Set realistic expectations. You will probably feel sad, angry, or disconnected at times, and that is okay. Acknowledging and accepting your emotions, rather than judging them, can make a big difference.
Check in with your needs. When we’re stressed, it is easy to neglect our sleep, nutrition, and activities that help us feel like ourselves. Incorporating small things like some extra sunlight, cozy indoor activities, or hobbies you enjoy will be supportive.
Set limits if necessary. What you need this year may look different from what others expect of you. Choose what feels manageable and meaningful to you. If social media triggers comparison, it may also be helpful to limit your scrolling during this time of year.
Lean on others. Whether it’s your family, chosen family, religious community, or neighbors, you can seek support without having to share everything that feels too vulnerable. Giving to others can be very rewarding, so remember that you are not a burden. Allowing others to support you gives them an opportunity to experience the joy of connection, too!
You don’t have to make this season joyful for it to be meaningful. Maybe this year, the goal isn’t to feel festive or to follow traditions the same way as others. Maybe it’s simply to give yourself a little more compassion, honor what you’re carrying, and find moments of peace where you can. Whatever the holidays look like for you this year, you deserve care and understanding.
Resources:
Source: 1. https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/americans-more-anxious-about-the-holidays/
